July 15th, 2008 by galadriel

A.k.a. The Kalyanam Chronicles.

With all my friends getting married and me visiting the happy couple, I had to do this.

I hate weddings. I hate all the fanfare, the big hullabaloo, the smoky atmosphere, the silk sarees, the jewelry on display, everything.

But the fun part is when random Uncles/Thathas/elderly gentlemen walk upto you and go ‘When I last saw you you were about this tall.’ and making a gesture that would make you about as tall as Tom Thumb. *Was that the same time as when you had hair on your head?*

“Oh, marine science aa? What will you do with it?” *I’ll make pickles, at least I’ll do it better than your jobless daughter.*

“Oceanography? Heard of National Institute of Oceanography in Goa?” *Well, duhh, I am an oceanographer. And I know NIO sucks. Why do you think I’m in the US?*

Enter the Maami Mafia. “Enna ma? Can you sing? Can you do alapanai?” *Why, would I not qualify as a singer if I sang a Beatles song?”

“Oh-o! You look like K.R.Vijaya! I always told your mother you’d turn out like this.” *Erm.. why would you tell her I’d look like an actress who used to be a peasant-girl selling flowers at the Guruvayoorappan temple? And is it no wonder then that neither my mom nor I have seen you ever since??*

“You’re 23? When do you plan to get married? Or are you one of these career-oriented girls?” *Yep, I’ll have a job and so naturally I’ll torture your son into doing household chores, which means I can’t be a good wife anyway.*

“I know a very good boy, he’ll be perfect for you.” *Does he like practising wrestling with his body pillows? No? Then he’s not perfect for me, sorry.*

“Can you sing? Can you cook?” *Pray, please to tell me how the two are related. AND how they’re related to marriage? Unless, of course, I marry him, then I sing and he dies. If he’s survived my singing, I can poison his dinner, is that how?*

“My son also lives in the US, you should meet him sometime.” *Lady, you do realize that the US is an actual country?*

And this happened when I was standing at one wedding with my grandmom.

Grandma: “What do you think of so-and-so’s son for our little girl?”

Random lady: ” Nice boy but his onnu-vitta-mama (some uncle, once removed) had cancer so their family medical history is not good.”

Grandma: “Ohh.. Thanks ma, good I spoke to you, what a good deed you have done.”

Me: “Umm.. Paati, what about our athai who also died of cancer?”

Grandma: “You stay quiet, periyava pesarche unakku enna anga velai?” (big people talking, you what there doing?)

And, of course, there’s always this one loser who goes to weddings just to see if any pretty eligible girls will make the mistake of considering him as a prospective groom. One such character apparently took a liking to me at one wedding ;). He kept following me around trying to make conversation *Did he not see me rolling my eyes after every sentence he spoke??* and convincing me how it is so cool that he chucked his PhD at Wayne State University and is doing a Masters at IIT Madras because he “wants to serve the country”. *Pray, how? By choosing a career by which you will eventually end up working for an MNC?”

He introduced himself so.

Shady Character: “Hi, I’m Ranga, short for Ranganathan.”

Me: *Not quite impressed with the nicknaming of self, it was still a loser name.* “Erm.. Hi.”

SC: “I’m Prema’s son.”

Me: <staring at him blankly>

SC: “Vijaya’s sister?”

Me: <still blank>

SC: “Umm.. Raghu Chithappa’s wife Vijaya?”

Me: <beginning to panic, wondering if I was at the right wedding> *Who were all these people???*

SC: “Umm.. whose side are you from? The bride or the groom?”

Me: “Erm.. err… I think my Mom’s calling out to me. Bye.”

Turns out, Vijaya was the bride’s mom and the bride was my mom’s cousin, so that made Raghu Chithappa, my mom’s Mama. I found that out much later, of course, thanks to my mom who had seen all this happening and was bursting with laughter.

So why do I still attend weddings? For the food, of course. And for material to blog about. Later.

June 15th, 2008 by galadriel

She wondered if she could ever count each of the twinkling stars in the night sky. The clock in the tower struck 9. She had to get back to reading her text book, ignoring the weird grumbling noises her stomach was making. The flickering orange street light looked like it would go put any minute.

Edited to add: This is the start of a new tag game. I now tag Rayshma to complete the next part of this story in 55 words exactly. She, in turn, will tag someone else and come back to me and tell me whom she has tagged. This way I can follow the story to its end. Each person tagged will inform their tagger whom they’ve tagged, so that the thread can be followed.

February 7th, 2008 by galadriel

Don’t start thinking UberT’s prediction of The Galadriel Porn Blog is coming true!

Just wondering if this would ever happen to cricket due to a loss of balls.

January 29th, 2008 by galadriel

First off, I have news! I am now officially Rayshma’s permanent tag recipient. Yayy. It’s a two-way street, btw Raysh. Also, as a tribute to “our formal union in holy tag-imony”, I have taken up this tag.

To begin with, I honestly cannot think of an inanimate object that has been that of my attention so much that I value it beyond time. I learned not to attach myself to material things a very long time ago. However, there are definitely some things that have given me immense happiness and will always be a part of my life.

My very first phone. The cute and durable Nokia 3310. the stress tests that I put it through would put the IPhone people to shame. Yeah, you’re right, I did put it into the toilet as well. It stuck by me for a whole 3 years in college and has seen more than it’s share of late night phone calls, SMSes, missed calls, etc. etc. I miss it so.

My current best friend, my car, my beautiful Chrysler Sebring. She’s my confidante, my soulmate. I simply cannot imagine life without her. She’s sleek, sexy, powerful. She’s everything I had ever wanted in a car and more. I love you babe. BFF.

My Bose in-ear earphones. And my Bvlgari sunglasses. Both, because they were a gift from a very very special friend. And both, I would never have had the heart to buy for myself because they’re so expensive. And they’re both everything I have left of our turbulent and amazing friendship.

This one green studded earring that was also a gift. However, 2 days after I got the earrings, I lost one of them and I was simply devastated. I still have the other one for keepsakes, but I sorely miss the lost one.

A silver rattle that I’ve had ever since I was a baby. This is something my grandma gave my Mom and it has been with us for over 24 years now. Every time I go back home, I make it a point to dig it out and take a look at it.

For now, these are all I can think of. I’m not going to tag anyone but everyone is welcome to take it up.

January 12th, 2008 by galadriel