June 7th, 2008 by galadriel

Pixie thinks I’m nice! *blushing*

Thanks Pix!

I guess I’ve only been blogging for a li’l while now and this makes me feel like people actually like reading me.

There, that’s the closest I’m ever going to come to making an Academy Award-like speech.

I would like to bestow this award upon Alice and Lavs. They’ve both in their won way put a lot of perspective into my thinking. Thanks, guys!

June 6th, 2008 by galadriel

“Every man is entitled to life, libery and the pursuit of happiness.” And so go the famous inalienable rights.

I have spent the last one year pursuing something that I thought would make my life immeasurably happy. And it took me 2 weeks of concentrated thinking to realize that there are other, bigger, more important things that I must think about, before going after a tenuous, fickle dream.

When it comes down to it, happiness is what we create for ourselves. We know that there are some things that have to be sacrificed for attaining others. And such has been the norm of life so far and such it will be for all life ahead. However, I ask: must we consider our choices as “giving up” ? Why do we have to give it a strong negative connotation by calling it “sacrifice” ?

A year ago I made a decision that would affect the course of my entire life. But I was the only person affected by it. I was the only person who would be happy by that decision of mine. Today, changing that decision has changed so many facets of my life. It has affected so many people involved, it has made everyone around me so happy that it doesn’t seem like such a bad thing after all.

What about me, you ask? Well, I am not going to be a saint and say everyone’s happiness is my happiness. Admittedly, I was saddened by it. But, I am also incredibly relieved. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my chest. I feel like I am finally being given an opportunity to make the best of what I have, to explore possibilities that were hitherto closed off because of that one decision.

I am also glad that this realization came to me when I had everything I wanted. I am glad that I decided this of my own accord, and not because circumstances made me. I am leaving at the top, when there is nothing to stop me from going ahead but my own free will. And my own free will has made me see sense in not going ahead with something that would have me caged for years. Something that would stagnate my growth and suffocate my spirit.

I feel liberated. I feel happy. I feel alive. Now, what was that about the inalienable rights?

As I leave, my first attempt at poetry:

the opening of the eyes
the rush of blood to the head
the heart beating a violent tattoo against her chest
she saw in front of her the vast sea of possibility

the gaping expanse ahead
the soaring heights above
the yawning depths below
made her spread her arms wide
and fly, far away, into eternity.